"What Am I?"
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny
trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!,
right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said
the ever-so-polite bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but
I'm blind and couldn't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it
was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and
I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are
you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've
never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find
out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're
soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy
tail, and a dear twitchy little nose; YOU must be a BUNNY
RABBIT!"
And the little blind bunny was so pleased he danced with joy.
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but, by the way, WHAT
kind of animal are YOU?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny
agreed to examine HIM, and when he was finished, the snake
said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're
hard, you're cold, you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls...
You must be a lawyer."
*******************************************************************
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a carp?
A: One is a cold-blooded bottom-dwelling scavenger and
the other is a fish.
********************************************************************
"Tut & Thud"
It was a nice day at the park by the lake. Three guys
were casting theirs lines to catch some fish and a
couple were rowing in a small boat.
Two crows were cruising by, eyeing for some targets to
poop on. (Those nasty birds!) The younger of the two
crows tried to show off and dove onto those three guys.
Tut, tut, tut. But it went thud, thud, hitting only two of the
three. The older crow went towards the couple in the
moving row boat. Tut, tut. And it went thud, hitting only
one of the couples. Since this was a moving target, it
didn't seem all that bad.
Then out from nowhere came this little bird, wings still
wet like it was just been hatched. It dove towards those
three guys. Tut, tut, tut. Thud, thud, thud. It swooped
over to the row boat. Tut, tut. Thud, thud. Then a kid riding
a bike came around. It flew over there. Tut. Thud. And it
then rested on a tree branch.
So the two crows felt embarrassed and went over there,
said, "We are impressed! Where do you learn to poop
on people like that?"
The little one said, "I may be a new hatch but I've got plenty
of experience. In my former life I was a lawyer."