"1040 P Standard Penis Tax Form"
The only thing the IRS has not taxed is the penis. This is due
to the fact that:
40% of the time, it's hanging around unemployed,
30% of the time, it's p*ssed off,
20% of the time, it's hard up,
10% of the time, it is in the hole.
On top of all this, it has three dependents, two of whom are nuts,
and one is an a**hole.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 1997, all penises will be taxed
according to size.
To determine the category, please consult the chart below and
confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the
standard 1040P form.
10 to 12 Inches* Luxury Tax $50.00
8 to 10 inches Pole Tax $30.00
6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax $15.00
4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax $ 5.00
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION!!!
* Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.
Sincerely,
Pecker Checker,
Internal Revenue Service
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"1040 B Standard Breasts Tax Form"
Since the IRS has decided to tax men's penises, it has come to
believe that women shouldn't be left out. So they have decided
that a Breast Tax is in order.
Please refer to the chart below for your tax computation:
AA cup Flat rate $ 5.00
A cup Slight rise $10.00
B cup Normal rate $15.00
C cup Over abundant rate $20.00
D cup* "Are they real?" rate $40.00
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under AA cup is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN ENLARGEMENT!!!
* Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for
the KNOCK YOUR EYES OUT Capital Gains tax.
Boobs Checker,
Internal Revenue Service
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"New W-2 Form"
Have all of you received your new Customer Friendly and Simple
As Pie W-2?
Form W-2-CFSAP
1. Name: _____________________________________
2. Social Security Number: _______________________
3. How Much Did You Make In 1997: ______________
SEND IT IN!
Signature_____________________________________
Date_________________________________________