Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 31 Dec 1998 08:52:59 -0500
Another year is winding down... What will the New Year bring?
I wish I knew.... Let's make some last Christmas wishes,
shall we?
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"My Christmas Wish" (NOT by LadyHawke!!)
If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the
children of the world to join together in peace and
love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for:
1: All the Children of the world to sing together
2: $1,000,000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas
1: Kids singing together
2: $1,000,000 tax free per year for life
3: To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas
1: The crap about the kids
2: $1,000,000
3: All encompassing power
4: 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about
by 2 super models and, of course, my wife
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids
together is impossible. So, let's rearrange
1: All encompassing power
2: The orgasm
3: The money
OHHH!! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so
we add that in. Now.. My wish this Christmas would be
1: The power
2: To strike down my enemies, may they die like pigs in hell
3. The orgasm
4. The Money
5. And with my fifth wish this holiday season I would like
for all the children of the world to join together in peace and
love and sing in harmony.
***********************************************************
"Alcohol Warning Labels We SHOULD See"
1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off
a garbage truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like a jerk.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the same boring story over and over again until
your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying
your butt at the office Christmas party.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what ever happened to your pants anyway.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose species and/or name you can't remember).
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter
than some really, really big guy named "Psycho."
11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you're invisible (or invincible).
12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing WITH you.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Thu Dec 31 1998 - 09:00:10 EST