Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 22 Dec 1998 07:12:55 -0500
Believe it or not, I am still receiving long-winded letters from
some men who are outraged at the mere suggestion that the
good ol' St. Nick might be a woman. (Joke du Jour, Dec 16,
98 - Santa, A Cross Dresser?) Geesh! Some people most
definitely have too much time on their hands.... {hehehe}
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"A Coming Home Gift"
After being away on business for a week before Christmas,
Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
"That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller
bottle for $30.
"Thats still quite a bit," Tom groused.
Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
Tom grew agitated, "What I mean," he said, "is I'd like to see
something real cheap."
So the clerk handed him a mirror.
**********************************************************
"Christmas Shopping"
aka "Just Hold Me..."
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion
is heating up. But then all of a sudden the wife stops and
says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." The
husband says, "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must
not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The
husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight,
and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes his wife shopping at a big
department store. He walks around and has her try on three
very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, "We'll take all
three of them." Then he goes over to the Shoes Dept and
gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to
the Jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The
wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out,
but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis, but OK
if you like it then lets get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot
even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to
go, lets go to the cash register."
The husband says, "No, no, no, honey we're not going to
BUY all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey,
I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Wife's face gets really red, and she is about to explode.
Just then the husband says, "You must not be in tune
with my financial needs as a Man!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Dec 22 1998 - 09:00:04 EST