Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 21 Dec 1998 08:44:53 -0500
Being The Joke Mistress has its disadvantages: I've seen so
many jokes that very rarely something is truly funny to me.
This little gem, however, had me laughing to tears. I interrupt
my Holiday run to bring you a little Roar!
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
=93Roar!=94
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was
coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop,
and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side
and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would
put his hands up like claws and roar... So it went, step,
step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from
laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more
distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears
by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and
said, "I was being the Ring Bear...."
**********************************************************
The Three Stages Of Life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You *are* Santa Claus.
**********************************************************
"The Price of True Love"
The price of giving all the items bestowed by the "true love"
of the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" may be a little
beyond most people's budget. The following costs were
calculated for 1998, based upon a report issued in 1995 by
PNC Bank Corp., assuming an annual rate of inflation of
2.5 percent:
1. Partridge in a pear tree $38
2. Turtle doves $54
3. French hens $16
4. Calling birds $302
5. Gold rings $485
6. Geese-a-laying $162
7. Swans-a-swimming $7,538
8. Maids-a-milking $37
9. Pipers piping $2,807
10. Ladies dancing $3,245
11. Lords-a-leaping $1,194
12. Drummers drumming $1,293
Total to give gifts once: $17,170
Total to give as in song*: $78,986
* Singing the song in its entirety results in 364 presents:
The partridge is given 12 times, two doves 11 times (22
total), etc., etc., etc...
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