Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Fri, 18 Dec 1998 08:53:36 -0500
One can never be too careful around Holiday parties at the office...
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Office Christmas party"
After the annual office Christmas party blowout, John woke up
with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable
to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the
bathroom, he was able to make his way downstairs, where his
wife put some coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it
as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn.
"You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in
antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the
President of the company to his face."
"He's an a**hole - piss on him!"
"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."
***********************************************************
"Office Holiday Memo"
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the
following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal
Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make
tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden
(it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and
through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Fri Dec 18 1998 - 09:00:03 EST