**you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning
as much as possible
** you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man
** the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty
crispy"
** the strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper
** your pool water starts to boil in the sun
** the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot
** pigs complain about sweating like fat humans
** a scalding hot show still cools you down
** people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames
** a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned
restaurants
** the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan
themselves
** you need a spatula to remove your clothing
** when the beer gut and the butt crack don't keep you from wearing
shorts
** you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather
** you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!
** lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell
** the black flies are dropping faster than yours is
** you are sitting inside reading these jokes
** your brother's braces make blisters on his lips
********************************************************
"Hot Vacation"
"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after
setting out an elaborate dinner for two.
"No thank you," the gentleman replied. "That will be all."
As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin
negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked.
"Yeah! That's a good idea," the fellow said. "Please bring up a
postcard."