Jack was returning to work Monday morning with two black eyes.
His workmates were understandably curious:
"Jack, what happened to you?!?"
"It was the darndest thing! I was at church yesterday, and this fat lady
stood up in front of me. You know how a dress can get stuck in the
crack of the butt of a fat lady? It looked funny. I figured she
wouldn't
like that, so I just reached over and pulled it out with a little tug.
Next
thing I know, she spins around and socks me one!"
"Jeez, you got TWO black eyes in one blow?"
"Naw. After she turned back around, I figured she was angry that I
pulled the dress out of her crack -- so I tried to poke it back in..."
*********************************************************
"Where Have You Been?"
A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've
you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos,
went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the
United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games,
to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff, church,
church, church."