Hearts of Palm Salad

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             FOOD FUNNY
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This one is a bit longer than most, but it's worth the time it takes to
get to the punch line. Thanks to Robin Heintz for sending it in.

A husband and wife were 85 years old and had been married for 60 years.
Although they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they
watched their pennies. Although not young, they were both in very good
health, largely because of the wife's insistence on healthy foods and
exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help
when they went on a rare vacation, and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He
took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with
a fully-stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could
be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in
astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home
now." The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why,
nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and, right there, he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built
on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This is
heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play free every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to
exotic desserts and free-flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said St.
Peter to the man. "This is Heaven; it is all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well,
where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated
tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "you can eat
and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never
get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your damned bran
muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"

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             TODAY'S RECIPE
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I had two slightly devious reasons for including this simple salad in my
list of 100 Favorite Dishes. First was to encourage people to try hearts
of palm. They're available canned in most supermarkets, and they're
downright delicious. The second reason was to provide an excuse to
publish a recipe for a basic vinaigrette sauce, the king of all salad
dressings. I killed both birds with this single recipe.

Hearts of Palm Salad

1 15-oz (425 g) can hearts of palm, drained
12-24 cherry tomatoes
Lettuce leaves for garnish
Vinaigrette sauce to taste (see below)

Cut the hearts of palm into 1/2-inch (1 cm) slices. Arrange the hearts
of palm and cherry tomatoes on beds of lettuce leaves on individual
salad plates and drizzle with vinaigrette sauce. Serve immediately.
Serves 4 to 6.

Vinaigrette Sauce

1 Tbs (15 ml) finely chopped shallot or onion
1 tsp (5 ml) Dijon-style mustard
1/4 cup (60 ml) red wine vinegar
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
3/4 cup (180 ml) extra-virgin olive oil

Combine the shallot, mustard, vinegar, salt, and pepper in a small
mixing bowl and whisk until thoroughly combined. Add the oil in a thin
stream, whisking constantly. If the sauce separates before being used it
me be recombined by whisking vigorously for a few seconds.
Makes 1 cup (250 ml).
Received on Mon May 18 22:23:12 2009