Chow-Chow

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             FOOD FUNNY
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Here's one that reader Debbie Smith says, "could be sooo true."

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of
dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked,
"If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman told me.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going
to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you
for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks
like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."

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             TODAY'S RECIPE
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It is believed that this relish was brought to America by Chinese
railroad workers in the 19th century. It can be added to salads, or
served as a cold vegetable side dish all by itself.

Chow-Chow

5 cups (1.25 L) cold water
1/2 cup (125 ml) salt
2 lbs (900 g) unpeeled cucumbers, thinly sliced
10 cups (2.5 L) cider vinegar
2 1/2 cups (625 ml) sugar
1 1/2 cups (375 ml) all-purpose flour
6 Tbs (90 ml) dry mustard
3 Tbs (45 ml) celery seed
1 Tbs (15 ml) ground turmeric
1 1/2 lbs (675 g) green tomatoes, cored and cut into 1/2-inch (1 cm) dice
1 1/2 lbs (675 g) green bell peppers (capsicums), cored, seeded, and cut into 1/2-inch (1 cm) dice
1 1/2 lbs (675 g) cauliflower, cut into small florets
1 lb (450 g) green beans (haricots), cut into 1/2-inch (1 cm) pieces
1/2 lb (225 g) pearl onions, peeled
Salt to taste

Combine the water and salt in a pot, stirring to dissolve the salt. Add
the cucumbers and let stand covered in a cool place for 12 hours.
Combine the vinegar and sugar in a large, non-reactive pot, stirring to
dissolve the sugar. Combine the flour, dry mustard, celery seed, and
turmeric in a mixing bowl and gradually add about 2 cups (500 ml) of the
vinegar mixture, whisking to make a smooth paste. Bring the remaining
vinegar mixture to a simmer over moderate heat and whisk in the flour
mixture. Cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture comes to a boil
and is smooth and slightly thickened. Remove from the heat, cover, and
set aside. Blanche the green tomatoes, bell peppers, cauliflower, green
beans, and pearl onions by plunging them into boiling salted water. When
the mixture returns to a boil, remove the vegetables and drain
thoroughly. Drain the cucumbers and add them to the vinegar mixture
along with the blanched vegetables. Bring to a boil and season with
salt. The chow-chow can be canned according to the directions of the
manufacturer of canning jars, or it may be stored covered in the
refrigerator for up to 1 month, or it may be frozen in small batches for up to 6 months.
Makes about 10 pints (5 L).
Received on Sun Feb 17 18:48:03 2008