Pickled Red Onion Relish & Cuban Mojo

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            FOOD FUNNY
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Thanks to Harriet St. Amant for this one:

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a
couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her billfold, extracted
ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine
with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman answered.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to eat"

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS?!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done
in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."

The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with
you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and
wine."

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            TODAY'S RECIPES
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This quick pickle is great on grilled chicken or steak, on hot dogs,
hamburgers, and other sandwiches, and added to tossed salads. I'm sure
you'll think of many other uses, too.

Pickled Red Onion Relish

2 red onion, thinly sliced and separated into rings
1/3 cup (80 ml) red wine vinegar
2 Tbs (30 ml) sugar
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Combine all the ingredients in a non-reactive bowl and toss to combine.
Let marinate at room temperature for at least 2 hours before serving.
Will keep covered and refrigerated for up to 1 week.
Makes about 2 cups (500 ml).

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I believe that this sauce is to be found on every table in Cuba. It is
traditionally made with the juice of bitter Seville oranges, but the
tart juice of any fruit can be substituted. Use it on meats, poultry,
seafood, and vegetables.

Cuban Mojo

1/2 cup (125 ml) olive oil
6-8 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3/4 cup (180 ml) juice of bitter oranges, lemons, limes, or grapefruit
1/2 tsp (2 ml) ground cumin
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Heat the oil in a deep pot over moderate heat. Add the garlic and cook
until fragrant but not brown, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and
cool for about 5 minutes before stirring in the remaining ingredients.
Serve at room temperature. Will keep covered and refrigerated for 3
days. Makes about 1 cup (250 ml).
Received on Thu Mar 29 22:13:02 2007