Kung Pao Chicken & General Tso's Chicken

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            FOOD FUNNY
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Here's a classic food funny from Anna Welander:

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up from the
wharf carrying two live lobsters, one in each hand. It was three weeks
after the season closed and who should he meet at the end of the wharf
but the Federal Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and
wiggling lobsters, says: "I got you this time, with two live lobsters
three weeks after the season closed!"

The Newfie says, "No, you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that
I caught two weeks before the season ended."

The Fisheries Officer says, "Trained like how?"

"Well, each day I take these two from my house down to the wharf and put
them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sit on the wharf and
have me a smoke or two. After about 15 minutes I whistle and up come me
two lobsters, and I take them home!"

"Likely story," the Fisheries Officer says! "Lets take them on down the
wharf and see if it's true." So, the Newfie goes ahead of the Fisheries
Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently
lowers both lobsters into the water. The Newfie sits on a wharf piling
and lights up a smoke, then another! After about 15 minutes the
Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie, "How about whistling?"

The Newfie says, "What for?"

The Fisheries Officer says, "To call in the lobsters."

The Newfie says, "What lobsters?"

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            TODAY'S RECIPES
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Unlike some dishes concocted in Chinese restaurants in the United
States, this one does have its roots in the traditional cooking of the
Sichuan province of China.

Kung Pao Chicken

For the sauce:
1 Tbs (15 ml) Chinese rice wine (shao xing) or dry sherry
1 Tbs (15 ml) soy sauce
1 Tbs (15 ml) dark sesame oil
1 Tbs (15 ml) cornstarch (cornflour) dissolved in
1 Tbs (15 ml) water
2 tsp (10 ml) chili paste with garlic*, or to taste
2 tsp (10 ml) brown sugar
1 tsp (5 ml) distilled white vinegar

For the marinade:
1 Tbs (15 ml) Chinese rice wine (shao xing) or dry sherry
1 Tbs (15 ml) soy sauce
1 Tbs (15 ml) dark sesame oil
1 Tbs (15 ml) cornstarch (cornflour) dissolved in
1 Tbs (15 ml) water

1 lb (450 g) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into 1-inch (2 cm) pieces
2 Tbs (30 ml) peanut or vegetable oil
4 scallions (spring onions), green and white parts, chopped
2-4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 cup (125 ml) skinless roasted peanuts

* Available in finer supermarkets and Asian specialty shops. Any other hot sauce can be substituted.

Combine the ingredients for the sauce in a bowl and set aside. Combine
the ingredients for the marinade in a separate bowl. Add the chicken,
tossing to combine, and marinate refrigerated for 30 minutes. Drain the
chicken and discard the marinade. Heat the peanut oil in a wok or large
skillet over high heat and saute the chicken until firm and cooked
through, about 5 minutes. Add the scallions and garlic and cook,
stirring often, for 1 minute. Add the sauce and cook, stirring
constantly, until the sauce comes to a boil and thickens slightly.
Serve immediately, garnished with peanuts.
Serves 4 to 6.

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This is a Chinese American favorite that is unknown in China. One theory
of its birth involves a New York City restaurant in the early 1970s when
Sichuan and Hunan cooking were first becoming popular here.

General Tso's Chicken

For the sauce:
2 tsp (10 ml) cornstarch (cornflour)
2 Tbs (30 ml) rice wine vinegar
2 Tbs (30 ml) Chinese rice wine (shao xing) or dry sherry
2 Tbs (30 ml) sugar
2 Tbs (30 ml) soy sauce

3 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup (125 ml) cornstarch (cornflour)
1 lb (450 g) chicken thighs, boned and cubed
Peanut or vegetable oil for frying
4-6 whole dried chile pods such as hontaka or cayenne

Combine the ingredients for the sauce in a bowl and set aside. In a
large bowl, thoroughly blend the 1/2 cup of cornstarch and the eggs. Add
the chicken and toss to coat. Heat about 1 inch (3 cm) of peanut oil in
a wok or large skillet over high heat and fry the chicken in small
batches just long enough to cook the chicken through. Drain the chicken
on paper towels. (This step can be done in advance and refrigerated.)
Leave a tablespoon or two of the oil in the wok. Add the chile pods to
the oil and fry just until they are fragrant, about 30 seconds. Return
the chicken to the wok and stir-fry until the pieces are crispy brown.
Add the sauce mixture to the wok, stirring constantly until the sauce
forms a glaze, 1 to 2 minutes. Serve immediately.
Serves 4 to 6.
Received on Thu Jul 19 21:37:37 2007