Russian Millet and Bacon Soup

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             FOOD FUNNY
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This one from Anna Welander is a bit longer than most, so you might have
to call in late for work this morning.

A guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this
salt encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the
salt. Lo and behold, it was a very old oil lamp. The guy started to buff
it to remove the verdigris when "poof" a genie appeared. This genie,
like all genies, was so happy to be freed of the lamp that he granted the guy three wishes.

"I wish to be a dollar richer than Bill Gates," says the guy.

The genie wasn't sure who Bill Gates was until the guy told him to check
Forbes magazine. When the genie called up Forbes from inside the lamp,
he learned that Bill Gates was indeed, the richest man in the world.

"Guy," the genie said, "You will forever be a dollar richer than Bill
Gates. What's your second wish?"

"Genie, I want the most expensive Porsche made: Fire engine red,
on-board GPS and the finest audio system ever installed in an automobile."

"That's easy, Guy," says the genie. He waves his hand and best car
anybody had ever seen pops out of the lamp. The genie then asks the guy for his third wish.

The guy mulls the problem over and over. A girl--nah, with billions and
billions of dollars he certainly had become a girl magnet. World peace?
Only wackos want that. The guy could not find anything that warranted
using his third and last wish.

"Genie," the guy said, "I can't think of anything now. May I save the third wish for later?"

"Gee, this is most unusual. But you hold the hammer, and I can't escape
from this lamp until you make a third wish. Call me when you're ready,"
and whoosh the genie disappears into the lamp.

The guy carefully picks up the now-ever-so-valuable lamp and places it
in the trunk of the fire engine red Porsche. He turns on the radio to
balance the sounds and makes all the other adjustments needed to get his
great audio system customized to his ears.

After that, he pulls off the beach and heads south along the Pacific
Coast Highway. Soon he's up to 60, then 70, then 80. The Porsche handled
perfectly. The guy is so happy that he begins to sing along with the
familiar commercial on the radio.

"Oh, I wish I was an Oscar-Mayer Wiener..."

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             TODAY'S RECIPE
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Although I offer it as the soup course in this week's menu, kulesh is
often served as a one-dish meal in Russia.

Russian Millet and Bacon Soup (Kulesh)

1/2 cup millet,* rinsed in cold water
8 cups (2 L) water
Salt to taste
2 Tbs (30 ml) butter
1 large carrot, peeled and cut into julienne strips
1 small celery root (celeriac), peeled and cut into julienne strips
1 medium onion, peeled and cut into juliennes strips
2 - 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch (2 cm) dice
6 - 12 strips bacon, cut into 1-inch (2 cm) pieces, sauteed until golden, drained
Chopped parsley for garnish

* Millet, a staple grain in much of the world, is available in finer supermarkets and health food stores.

Combine the millet, water, and salt in a large pot and bring to a boil.
Reduce the heat and simmer covered for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, heat the
butter in a skillet over moderate heat and saute the carrot, celery
root, onion, and garlic until tender, about 5 minutes. Add the sauteed
vegetables and potatoes to the pot and simmer covered for 20 minutes.
Remove the pot from the heat and add the bacon. Allow to stand for 5
minutes before serving. Garnish with chopped parsley.
Serves 6 to 8.
Received on Mon Dec 10 18:36:55 2007