Chewy Caramels & Cream Cheese Mints

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              FOOD FUNNY
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Thanks again to Anna Welander for this one:

An inebriate says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give
me the bill." So, the bartender does just that and hands the man
a bill for $37. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender
slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the
street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once
again says (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in
the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he
can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice so
he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for
the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $37.

The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the
living daylights out of him, and throws him out into the street. The
next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says
(with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy every one in the house a
drink, give me the bill."

In disgust the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?'

The drunk replies, "No, you get violent when you drink."

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              TODAY'S RECIPES
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Here's a recipe for everyone's favorite old-fashioned treat.

Chewy Caramels

2 cups (500 ml) sugar
12 Tbs (180 ml) butter
2 cups (500 ml) heavy cream
1 3/4 cups (430 ml) light corn syrup
1 tsp (5 ml) vanilla extract

Combine the sugar, butter, cream, and corn syrup in a saucepan
and bring to a boil over moderate heat. Boil for 20 minutes, stirring
occasionally, until the firm ball stage, 242-248F (115-120C) on a
candy thermometer. Remove from the heat, stir in the vanilla, and
beat with an electric mixer until thickened. Pour into a greased
9-inch (22 cm) square pan and cool before cutting into squares.
Wrap individually in plastic wrap and store in an airtight container.
Makes about 1 lb (450 g).

These smooth candies are a pleasure for the eye as well as the
mouth.

Cream Cheese Mints

4 oz (225 g) cream cheese
3 1/2 cups (875 ml) powdered (confectioner's) sugar
1/4 tsp (1 ml) peppermint extract
Red, green, and yellow food coloring
Sugar for coating

Combine the cream cheese, powdered sugar, and peppermint extract
in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Divide into 4 portions. Add 1 drop of
food coloring to three of the portions and knead to make pink, green,
and yellow - leave 1 portion white. Roll into small balls, about 1/2
inch (1 cm) in diameter, roll in sugar, and press down with the tines
of a fork to make round disks with indentations along the top. Place
on waxed paper to dry for 2 to 3 hours. Store in airtight containers.
Makes about 12 dozen.
Received on Wed Dec 6 08:33:58 2006