The Chef's Favorite Clam Dip

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            FOOD FUNNY
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This food funny from A. J. Allred gives me the funniest feeling that
I'm being watched.

Signs That You Are Too Crocked to Cook

9. After applying the turkey's booties, you can't resist adding the little
bow tie to match.

8. Gefilte fish actually starts to look appetizing.

7. You check the boiling pot of water for temperature. With your bare
hand. For the third time.

6. You've lost track of whether you put the right amount of liquor in
your rum cakes, and frankly, you really could care less.

5. You exhale near a stove burner, generate a two-foot-long blue flame
and the house burns down.

4. You call your friend in amazement to tell him that bread can become
toast, but it can never go back.

3. Instead of actually cooking, you stand in the kitchen for four hours
laughing at the dill weed.

2. The blender appears to be spinning, but the stuff inside isn't getting
any smaller.

And the #1 Sign You Are Too Crocked to Cook:

1. The whisk is tangled in the dog's hair, your meatloaf just winked at
you and you've lost the ability to discern the difference between ketchup
and blood.

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            TODAY'S RECIPE
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I chose the theme of "Holiday Party Foods" this week for a couple
of reasons. The first (and most obvious) is that it's that time of year,
ya know? The second reason is that I hope it will inspire more
subscribers to the PLUS Edition to send some of their favorite holiday
recipes to the Pen-Pal Forum. Here are a few of my favorite holiday
recipes:

(Recipes in brackets are in the PLUS Edition only.)

Monday's Starter
The Chef's Favorite Clam Dip
[Potato Latkes]

Tuesday's Soup or Salad
Winter Three-Grain Salad
[Holiday Spinach Salad]

Wednesday's Side Dish
Mushroom-Stuffed Onions
[Spiced Squash Rings]

Thursday's Entree
The Chef's Smoked Turkey
[Roast Pork with Madeira Sauce]

Friday's Dessert
Italian Ice Cream Cake
[Danish Red Fruit Pudding (Rodgrod med Flode)]

My mother began serving this dip at parties and family gatherings
over 30 years ago, and it has become a family favorite to three
generations.

The Chef's Favorite Clam Dip

1 large, round loaf of crusty bread, unsliced (about 24 oz, 700 g)
2 packages (8 oz, 225 g each) cream cheese at room temperature
3 small cans (7 oz, 200 g each) clams, drained, juice reserved
2 Tbs (30 ml) onion, grated or finely chopped
2 tsp (10 ml) fresh lemon juice
2 tsp (10 ml) Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp (5 ml) hot sauce, or to taste
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

With a sharp knife remove a slice from the top of the loaf of bread
and set aside. Hollow out the loaf, leaving a shell 1 to 1 1/2 inches
(2 to 3 cm) thick. Cut or tear the removed bread into 1-inch (2 cm)
cubes or chunks. In a large bowl beat the cream cheese until smooth.
Stir in the clams, 1/4 cup (60 ml) of the reserved liquid, lemon
juice, Worcestershire sauce, onion, hot pepper sauce, salt, and
pepper. Center the hollowed out loaf on a piece of aluminum foil
large enough to wrap it with and pour the clam mixture into the loaf.
Cover with the reserved slice of bread and wrap in the aluminum foil.
Bake in a 250F (120C) oven for 3 hours. Serve on a large serving
platter surrounded by the bread you removed from the inside of the
loaf, along with raw vegetables. When empty the bread shell can be
cut or torn apart and eaten. Serves 8 to 12 as an appetizer.
Received on Mon Dec 12 06:21:17 2005