Chicken under Bricks

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             FOOD FUNNY
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Thanks to reader Vera for sending us this:

IT'S TIME TO GO TO CULINARY SCHOOL IF...

You consider it a culinary success if the Pop-Tart stays in one piece.

Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

Your family buys Alka-Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third
stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they
hear a fire truck siren.

The E.P.A. insists that all your garbage cans be marked with
bio-hazard symbols.

Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

Your two best recipes are meat loaf and apple pie, but your dinner
guests can't tell which is which.

Your pie filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of
the oven.

You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a
crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.

Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.

You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the
dark and melts the silverware.

Your family prays AFTER they eat!

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             TODAY'S RECIPE
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Some recipes - maybe most - are all about ingredients. This one is
all about technique. The weight of the bricks on the chicken during
cooking forces it to a uniform thickness to aid in even cooking; the
skin is pressed flat against the cooking surface for even browning;
and much of the fat is squeezed out during cooking. This is truly one
of the world's great chicken recipes.

Chicken under Bricks (Pollo al Mattone)

1 roasting chicken, about 4 - 5 lbs (1.8 - 2.2 Kg)
The juice of 1 lemon
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1/2 cup (125 ml) olive oil

Using a sharp knife or pair of poultry shears, remove and discard the
backbone from the chicken. Lay the chicken on a flat surface, skin
side up, and flatten the breast by pressing with the heel of your hand
- the chicken should be as flat as possible. Rub with lemon juice and
season generously with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a large,
heavy skillet over medium-high heat until it is hot but not smoking.
Place the chicken in the oil skin side down and place a lid or other
skillet on top of the chicken. Place two bricks or other weights
totalling about 10 pounds (4.5 Kg) on top of the lid and cook the
chicken over medium-high heat until the skin is golden brown, about 12
minutes. Remove the weights and lid and turn the chicken over.
Replace the lid and weights and cook 12 minutes more. To test for
doneness, pierce the thigh with the tip of a sharp knife - the juices
should run clear. Transfer the chicken to a serving platter and cover
with aluminum foil. Let rest for 10 to 30 minutes before cutting into
serving pieces. Serves 4 to 6.
Received on Sat Nov 1 12:13:54 2003