Subject: Fat-Free Cantaloupe Smoothie
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Mon Jan 24 2000 - 03:30:06 EST
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Here is a food funny that was making the rounds on the internet a
while ago. Thanks to reader Cheri Steck for sending it in.
The top ten signs you're being stalked by Martha Stewart:
10. Mysterious late-night phone calls: "I can't stop thinking about
you... and that's a good thing!"
9. Contents of your curbside recycling tub are stolen, reorganized,
and replaced.
8. On her show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like
your split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and
the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door.
7. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a
magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same
font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
6. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon,
rose petal & saffron demi-glace with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and
a delicate mint-fennel sauce.
5. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you everywhere - even
after you leave the bathroom.
4. You discover that every napkin in the whole house has been folded
into a swan.
3. That telltale lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing
in every orifice.
...and the Number 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart:
1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your
temple.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::::::
My family first discovered "smoothies" in Punta del Este, Uruguay in
about 1967, where they were sold from a sidewalk cafe and called
"licuados." It only took about 30 years, but they have caught on in
the US, no doubt because of their use of fresh fruit and other
healthful ingredients. This version is made even more so by the use
of non-fat dairy products.
Fat-Free Cantaloupe Smoothie
1/2 ripe cantaloupe, peeled, seeded, and cut into chunks
1 cup (250 ml) skim milk
1 cup (250 ml) unflavored or vanilla fat-free yogurt
1 cup (250 ml) crushed ice
2 Tbs (30 ml) sugar, or to taste
Combine all ingredients in an electric blender and process until
smooth. Serves 2.
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