Subject: Shrimp Toast
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Tue Dec 26 2000 - 18:57:52 EST
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F O O D F U N N Y
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Many people sent me this Christmas food funny, but reader Tripp
Frohlichstein was the first.
Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.
While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.
The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.
From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.
My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger beside my heartburn
I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.
And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
In the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!
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T O D A Y ' S R E C I P E
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In keeping with my vow to work as little as possible this week, I have
put together a collection of some of the best recipes from past
issues.
This Chinese classic can be found in fine dining rooms in every city
in Southeast Asia. I makes a wonderful first course, but also does
great duty as an hors d'oeuvre for a cocktail or dinner party.
Shrimp Toast
1/2 lb (225 g) raw shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 egg white
1 Tbs (15 ml) cornstarch
1 tsp (5 ml) salt
1/2 tsp (2 ml) granulated sugar
1/4 tsp (1 ml) freshly ground black pepper
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 scallion, both green and white parts, finely chopped
1 narrow loaf French bread (baguette)
1 cup (250 ml) vegetable oil
Small bunch fresh flat leaf parsley
Pulverize the shrimp to a paste with a food processor or blender. Add
the egg white, cornstarch, salt, sugar, pepper, garlic, scallions and
stir well to combine. Cut the French bread into slices 1/2 inch (1
cm) thick. Spread the shrimp paste over one side of each slice.
Decorate each slice with a whole parsley "petal", stuck to the shrimp
paste. Heat the oil in a frying pan to about 375F (190C). Drop in
the bread slices, shrimp side down. Fry until the underside is brown,
then turn over and brown the other side. Remove from the pan with a
slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Serves 6 as a first course.
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