Subject: Breakfast Burritos
From: Unicorn (unicorn@indenial.com)
Date: Thu Dec 14 2000 - 06:38:29 EST
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F O O D F U N N Y
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Reader Laura S. writes, "This joke about turtles going on a picnic is
one "shelluva" stupid joke; however, I felt that this was more than
appropriate for your food funny."
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. So,
Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and
sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is10 miles away, so the
turtles take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive,
everyone's whipped.
Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the
sodas and says, "Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring the bottle opener," Steve says. "I thought you packed
it."
Joe gets worried. He turns to Poncho. "Poncho, do you have the
bottle opener?" Naturally, Poncho doesn't have it, so the turtles are
stuck ten miles away from home without soda. Joe and Steve beg Poncho
to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing
that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho
to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't
touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steadily.
Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and
puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes and still no
Poncho, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass
without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless.
"I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised."
Five more days pass and the two are near starvation. Near death, the
two turtles weakly lift the lid to get a sandwich. As they open their
mouths to eat, Poncho pops out behind a rock, and says, "Just for
that, I'm not going!"
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T O D A Y ' S R E C I P E
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The first breakfast burrito I ever tasted was served from a craft
truck as I was standing around doing nothing as an extra in the movie
"My Cousin Vinnie." I never got in front of a camera, but I did enjoy
getting paid to watch them shoot a film, and I am also happy I learned
about this tasty and practical dish.
Breakfast Burritos
1 Tbs (15 ml) butter
1 medium potato, finely diced
1 green bell pepper (capsicum), seeded and finely diced
4 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
8 eggs, lightly beaten
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
4 flour tortillas
4 oz (100 g) cheddar cheese, shredded
1/2 cup (125 ml) Mexican-style salsa
2 scallions (spring onions), finely chopped
Melt the butter in a skillet over moderate heat and saute the potato
and pepper until tender, about 5 minutes. Add the bacon and eggs and
cook, stirring frequently, until set. Divide the egg mixture between
the tortillas and top with the cheese, salsa, and scallions. Roll up,
tucking the ends under. Serves 4.
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