Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 21 Sep 1999 03:32:55 -0400
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Thanks to self-described "faithful reader" Patricia Weigand for
today's food funny. It's a bit longer than usual, but worth the read.
MOM'S BROWNIES
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup
margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no,
no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from
Tommy and clean cupboards. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening
can away from Tommy again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and
bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's
tail. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows
for ventilation. Take telephone away from Tommy and assure party on
the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have
direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup
nuts and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Tommy. Explain to kids that you
have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while
there's still time and he's still able to run away.
FROSTING
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away -- far
away. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you
didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the
street. Put Jr. in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and
boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to
neighbor for Tommy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail
slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet. Tie Tommy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In kicking off the Russian theme this week I resisted the temptation
to serve up an appetizer based around caviar, choosing instead to
present this very humble and easy to prepare dish.
Chopped Egg Pate
8 hard-boiled eggs, peeled
4 scallions (spring onions, green onions), finely chopped
2 Tbs (30 ml) melted butter
1 Tbs (15 ml) fresh dill, finely chopped
Salt and white pepper to taste
Cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, and oil-cured
black olives for garnish
Chop the hard-boiled eggs finely but do process in a food processor.
The mixture should be grainy. Add the scallions, butter, dill, salt,
and white pepper and mix gently with a fork. Chill in the
refrigerator for at least 1 hour. Mound the pate in a serving bowl
and decorate with the cucumber slices, tomatoes, and olives. Serve
with toast points or crackers. Serves 6 to 8.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Sep 21 1999 - 09:00:03 EDT