Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sun, 03 Oct 1999 03:23:12 -0400
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
This one is from reader Fran Ng, who calls herself "Your #1 Fan."
It's a bit longer than usual, but how could I disappoint my #1 fan?
One day, three unemployed factory workers heard that a large food
company was enlarging and needed more staff. So they went downtown to
see if they could get themselves a job.
After filling out their applications, each one was interviewed and
each one managed to get hired. As they were waiting to be assigned
their new duties, a foreman came by and spoke to the hiring boss.
The foreman told the boss that he didn't think it was such a good idea
as one of the workers had snapped for no apparent reason at his last
job. Also a second was said to have had cracked up after severe
mental stress. The third, he believed, was their father whom he felt
was a bit odd but he couldn't put his finger on it.
The hiring boss reassured the foreman and said that they would start
on something easy and after a week, the company would re-assess them
to see if they would be kept on. The foreman reluctantly agreed and
asked the boss where he thought they should start.
The boss replied, "Why not take them and put them in our Cereal
Division...Snap, Crackle and Pop should work out fine down there."
:::::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In classical French cooking, sauce mayonnaise is one of the "mother
sauces" that many other sauces are based upon. If all you have ever
had before is store-bought mayonnaise, you are in for a treat.
Home-made mayonnaise is an elegant sauce used to dress meat, fish,
poultry and vegetable dishes, and not for spreading on sandwiches.
Virtually any oil can be used. Lighter, more delicate oils such as
peanut, safflower, and corn oil may be used to serve with fish and
vegetables. To accompany heartier dishes a more robust oil, such as
olive or walnut oil, may be used.
Sauce Mayonnaise
[Note: The following recipe calls for uncooked eggs. If salmonella
contamination is a concern in your area, please skip this recipe.]
Traditional Method
3 large egg yolks
2 to 3 Tbs (30 - 45 ml) lemon juice or white wine vinegar
1 tsp (5 ml) Dijon-style mustard (optional)
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1+1/2 (375 ml) cups oil
Whisk together the yolks, lemon juice or vinegar, mustard, salt, and
pepper until smooth and light. Add the oil a teaspoon at a time,
whisking constantly, until the mixture begins to thicken. Do not add
more oil until all of the oil you just added has been absorbed. Once
the mixture has started to thicken you can add the oil a little
faster. This sauce will keep refrigerated for 1 or 2 days. Serve
immediately, or well chilled. Makes about 2 cups (500 ml).
Blender Mayonnaise
1 large egg
2 large egg yolks
2 to 3 Tbs (30 - 45 ml) lemon juice or white wine vinegar
1 tsp (5 ml) Dijon-style mustard (optional)
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1+1/2 cups (375 ml) oil
Place the egg, egg yolks, lemon juice or vinegar, salt, and pepper in
an electric blender or food processor and process 10 to 15 seconds.
With the blender running, add the oil in a thin stream. After about
1/3 of the oil has been added, the sauce should begin to thicken, at
which time you can add the oil a little bit faster. After all the oil
has been added scrape down the sides of the blender and process an
additional 10 seconds. Makes about 2 cups (500 ml).
Mayonnaise Variations
Tartar Sauce - A traditional accompaniment to fish, it is also good on
steamed vegetables.
1 recipe traditional or blender mayonnaise OR
2 cups (500 ml) commercially prepared mayonnaise
2 Tbs (30 ml) finely minced scallions (spring onions)
2 Tbs (30 ml) chopped dill pickles
2 Tbs (30 ml) chopped capers
2 Tbs (30 ml) sweet pickle relish
Combine all ingredients and stir thoroughly.
Sauce Remoulade - A classic salad dressing as well as an accompaniment
to fish, shellfish, and cold meats.
1 recipe traditional or blender mayonnaise OR
2 cups (500 ml) commercially prepared mayonnaise
1 hard-boiled egg, finely chopped
2 Tbs (30 ml) chopped dill pickles
2 Tbs (30 ml) chopped capers
1 Tbs (15 ml) each: finely chopped parsley,
tarragon, and chives
1 large clove garlic, finely chopped
Cayenne pepper to taste
Combine all ingredients and stir thoroughly.
Aioli (Garlic Mayonnaise) - From Provence, this mayonnaise is
traditionally served chilled with cold poached fish, vegetables, or
eggs. A large dollop can also be added to hot soups, and it makes a
wonderful dip for parties.
Make the traditional or blender mayonnaise recipe, with the addition
of 4 to 8 finely chopped cloves of garlic to the egg mixture before
adding the oil.
Skordalia - this Greek variation cuts the richness of the mayonnaise
by adding mashed potatoes. Use it as you would aioli.
Prepare the aioli as above and stir in 1 cup mashed potatoes.
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