Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 15 May 1999 13:07:34 -0400
:::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY::::::::::::::::::::::::
Thanks to reader SSuzySong for this one. It's a bit long, so if you
can't read it all in one sitting wrap the leftovers tightly and
refrigerate.
STUFF IN THE FRIDGE
How do you know if it has gone bad?
EGGS When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg
is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage
cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular
cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more
spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think
it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.
BREAD Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable
"spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good
indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory
experiment.
FLOUR
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
CANNED GOODS Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a
softball should be disposed of. Carefully.
CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
RAISINS
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
POTATOES Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy
undergrowth.
CHIP DIP If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the
floor, it has gone bad.
UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted
to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking,
Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.
:::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::
Semur Daging (Beef Cooked in Soy Sauce)
2 Tbs (30 ml) peanut oil
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped, mashed with
1/2 tsp (2 ml) salt
2 tsp (10 ml) finely grated fresh ginger
1 lb (500 g) chuck or round steak, cut into small cubes
1/2 tsp (2 ml) freshly ground black pepper
1/4 tsp (1 ml) EACH ground cardamom,
cinnamon, and nutmeg
1/8 tsp (0.5 ml) ground cloves
3 Tbs (45 ml) dark soy sauce
1 Tbs (15 ml) light brown sugar
2 Tbs (30 ml) lime juice
1 cup (250 ml) hot water
Heat the oil in a large skillet over high heat and fry the onion until
soft. Add the garlic and ginger and continue to cook until the onion
just starts to turn brown. Add the meat and stir fry just until it
has turned color. Add the remaining ingredients and bring to a boil.
Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook covered until the meat is tender.
Remove the cover after 1 hour and 15 minutes to help reduce the
liquid, until the sauce is thick and coats the meat. Serves 4 to 6.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sun May 16 1999 - 09:00:01 EDT