Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 08 May 1999 14:59:46 -0400
:::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY ::::::::::::::::::::::::
I remember hearing this joke when I was just a kid, but I don't think
that reader Sheryl Rice was there. She must have heard it somewhere
else.
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the
guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess
from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the
kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's mid-section.
The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some canned salmon
and other camouflage. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid
called the hostess into the kitchen and announced while wringing her
hands, "Madam, the cat is dead."
The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might
be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs
pumped.
Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat.
"It is still out on the road where the car ran over it."
::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE :::::::::::::::::::::
Mothers like nothing more than breakfast in bed on Mother's Day.
These three simple recipes will give Mom a choice of how she will have
her bagels on her special day. And don't forget to clean up the
kitchen if you want to make this breakfast extra special.
Bagels with Three Spreads
1 8-oz (225 g) package cream cheese at room temperature
2 tsp (10 ml) sugar
3 to 4 fresh strawberries, chopped
2 Tbs (30 ml) peanut butter
2 tsp (10 ml) honey
2 Tbs (30 ml) red raspberry preserves
Fresh peach slices
Bagels or white bread, toasted
Be sure to get the help of an adult if you don't know how to use a
knife or the toaster. Cut the cream cheese into three equal pieces
and put each piece in a small bowl.
For the Strawberry Spread: Add the sugar to one of the bowls with
cream cheese and mix it with a fork until you can't see the sugar
anymore. Then mix in the chopped strawberries, trying not to mash the
fruit.
For the Peanut Butter and Honey Spread: Add the peanut butter and
honey to another bowl with cream cheese, and mix with a clean fork
until it is all the same color.
For the Peach Melba Spread: Stir the raspberry preserves into the
third piece of cream cheese with a clean fork, then place the slices
of fresh peach on top.
Toast the bagels or bread and place them on a large plate. Arrange
the three small bowls on the plate (if it is big enough) or next to
the plate on a tray and bring it to your mother in bed. Here's a tip:
find out the night before what time she wants to get up, and have the
tray ready at that time. Don't forget a cup of her favorite breakfast
drink. And here's an extra tip: a fresh flower on the tray will make
her smile and give you a big kiss.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sun May 09 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT