Lord's Teeth

"Holy Water"*

*A father is in church with three of his young children,
including his five year old daughter.

As was customary, he sat in the very front row so
that the children could properly witness the service.

During this particular service, the minister was
performing the baptism of a tiny infant. The little
five year old girl was taken by this, observing that
he was saying something and pouring water over
the infant's head.

With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl
turned to her father and asked with all the
innocence of a five year old...

"Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?"

****************************************************

"Lord's Teeth"*

*A preacher of the old school was describing the
events of Judgment Day and, of course, he used
Biblical phraseology whenever he could.

"Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering
of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the
outer darkness, removed from the presence of the
Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at
such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a
great gnashing of teeth!"

At this point, one of the elders of the congregation
interrupted to say, "But Reverend, what if one of
those hopeless sinners has no teeth?"

The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends,
the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured...
teeth will be provided!"
Received on Mon Jan 17 10:51:00 2011