A.A.A.D.D.

"A.A.A.D.D."*

*Recently, I was diagnosed with Age Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder (A.A.A.D.D.).

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at
my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch
table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the
garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to
be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is
only 1 check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside
the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the
Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers
on the counter catches my eye--they need water. I put the
Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm
going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container
with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone
left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking
for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen
table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

- The car isn't washed,
- The bills aren't paid,
- There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
- The flowers don't have enough water,
- There is still only 1 check in my check book,
- I can't find the remote,
- I can't find my glasses,
- And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and
I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you
know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
Received on Sat Feb 26 20:21:03 2011