No Seats on the Bus

"No Seats on the Bus"*

*An old man gets on a crowded bus and no
one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and
rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor
and he falls.

As the old man gets up and composes himself,
a young kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and
says, "You know, if you put a little rubber thingy
on the end of your stick, it won't slip."

The old geezer man snaps back, "Well, if your
daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I'd
have a seat on this here bus."

*********************************************

"Eating Grass"*

*One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of
his limousine when he noticed two men eating
grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to
stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you
eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor
man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!"
he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second
man answered.

"Bring them as well!"

So, they all climbed into the car, which was no
easy task, even for a vehicle as large as the
limousine. One of the poor fellows expressed his
gratitude, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for
taking all of us with you."

The rich man replied, "No, thank you... the grass
at my place is about three feet tall and I could use the help!"
Received on Fri Apr 1 09:08:43 2011