NASCAR Fishing Trip

"NASCAR Fishing Trip"*

*Sterling Marlin and Ricky Rudd go on a fishing trip.
They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the
wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a
cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch
anything. The same thing happens on the second
day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until
finally, on the last day of their vacation, Sterling catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed.
Sterling to Ricky and says, "Do you realize that this
one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

Ricky says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

*********************************************************

"NASCAR & Hell"*

*Dale Jarrett, Rusty Wallace and Robert Pressely found
themselves in hell. They were a little confused at their
present situation, and they were startled to see a door
 in the wall open, behind the door was perhaps the
ugliest 1973 Pinto they had ever seen.

It was multi-colored with plenty of rust and primer...dirty...
dry-rotted interior..and you could smell it even over the Brimstone.

The voice of the Devil was heard: "Dale, YOU HAVE
SINNED!!! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity
in the drivers seat of this car!!!"

And Jarrett was whisked through the door by a group of
lesser demons to his torment.

This understandably shook up the other two, and so they
both jumped when the second door opened...and they
saw an even MORE disgusting example of automaking
gone wrong. It was a 1978 Gremlin it was over smashed in
every which direction, covered in thick hand paint-brushed
house paint and lots of "peace" symbols and hippie colors.
It has a top speed of 34, the electrics don't work, and the
radio works but only plays the theme from "Alice" and you can't turn it
off.

The voice of the Devil was heard: "Rusty, YOU HAVE SINNED!!!
You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in the drivers seat of
this car!!!"

And Rusty, like Jarrett before him, was whisked off.

Robert Pressley, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and
feared the worst...when the third door opened.... And as
the door...inched...open...., he strained to see the figure of...
a 1998 Dodge VIPER!!!

Delighted, Robert, taking in the sight of this beautiful piece
of Automaking Delight, Shiney and powerful this car is made
to run like hell. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:...

"Viper, YOU HAVE SINNED....
Received on Fri Oct 1 16:39:01 2010