Rude Awakening

"Cheap Shepherd"*

*After being away on business, Tim thought it would
be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics
clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a
smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

********************************************************

"Rude Awakening"*

*Paddy O' Leary had spent the eve drinking at the
local tavern. He knew he had a long walk home,
so though he was a wee tipsy, he recalled a shortcut
through the town's cemetery.

Paddy staggered 'round the graves, but lost his
footing and fell into a hole dug for a burial the
following day. He passed out when he hit bottom.

Upon awakening the next morn, Paddy stood up
and realized where he was-- and promptly shouted,

"Glory Be to G~d! 'Tis the Resurrection Day--
and I'm the first one up!"
Received on Thu Nov 18 08:18:37 2010