"Redneck Fishing"

"Redneck Fishing"*

*Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all
the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading
suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in
the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch
anything. The same thing happens on the second
day, and on the third day.

It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of
their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As
they're driving home they're really depressed.

One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize
that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen
hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing
we didn't catch any more!"

*****************************************************

"Emergency Landing"*

*Two guys were sitting in a bar getting really drunk.
After awhile, just drinking gets boring, so the first
guy looks at the second guy and says, "Hey, you
want to go up for a ride in my airplane?"

The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"

So they get some more beer and go for a tour around
the city in the plane. Eventually they get bored with
this too, so they decide to land. The drunk pilot starts
circling around looking for a place to land, and he sees
an airstrip close by. He says his new buddy along for
the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as any."

So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at
the last minute he swerves and pulls back up. "Crap!"
he says, "That is the SHORTEST runway I have ever
seen! How is anyone supposed to land on it?" But
since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try
again, with the same result.

Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend,
"All right, I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't
land it we're just going to crash and hope we don't die."
So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither is hurt.

When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy is
swears and gesticulates wildly at the runway. "I'm
gonna find whoever designed this crazy runway and
wring his neck! He must be total moron! No one could
land on anything that short!"

The second guy looks around and says, "Yeah, but
look how *wide* it is!"
Received on Sun May 16 18:35:21 2010