An Irishman

"Olives"*

*McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after
martini, each time removing the olives and placing
them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and
all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over
what McQuillan had done.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out
for a jar of olives."

***************************************************

"An Irishman"*

*An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three
pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room,
drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes
them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat
after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in
Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd
drink this way to remember the day when we drank
together." The bartender admits that this is a nice
custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks
them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the
bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but
I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light
dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says,
"everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking. Can't say the
same for my brothers, though! "
Received on Thu Mar 18 10:15:08 2010