Tea Kettle

"A Texan in Sydney"*

*A Texan lands in Sydney, and is picked up by a taxi.
After requesting a tour of the city, he starts into
a tirade about the small town airport and how in Texas
they have larger runways on their ranches...

They are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor bridge, and
the man is further unimpressed - "I have a duck pond
bigger than that harbor, and an ornamental bridge to
span it that makes this look like a toy".

The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn
"Is this a road, or a track?"

So when a kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab,
causing the sudden and severe application of the
brakes, the driver couldn't help himself - "Stupid grass hoppers!"

********************************************************

"Tea Kettle"*

*A man who had been in a mental institution for some years
finally improved to the point where it was thought he might
be released. The psychiatrist that ran the institution
decided it was better to proceed with caution, and chose to
interview him first.

"Tell me," said the doctor, "if we release you, as we are
considering, what do you plan to do with your life?"

The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real
life, and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my
former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you see, and it
was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped
to put me here. If I am released, I shall limit myself to
work in pure theory, where I believe the situation will be
less difficult and stressful."

"Wonderful," said the psychiatrist.

"Or else," continued the patient, "I might teach. There is
something to be said for dedicating your life to expanding
the knowledge of young people."

"Definitely," said the psychiatrist.

"Then again, I might write. There is always a need for
books on science, or I may even write a novel based on my
experiences in the psychiatric institution."

"Another interesting possibility," agreed the doctor.

"And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can
always continue to be a tea kettle."
Received on Tue Mar 9 17:12:09 2010