A Well-Planned Retirement

"You Know The Economy Is Bad When"

1) The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2) I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind
the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

3) CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

4) The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked
"Insufficient Funds,"
you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

5) Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

6) Burger King is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

7) The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies
and learned their children's names.

8) The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking
into Mexico.

9) Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

10) The Mafia is laying off judges.

11) The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

12) Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

**************************************************************

"A Well-Planned Retirement"
 From The London Times:

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England , there is a parking
lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses. It was manned
by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine
charging cars £1(about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7).

This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25
years. Then, one day he just didn't turn up for work.

"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - "we'd better
phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant .
. . "

"Err . . . no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."

"Err . . . no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant
was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?"

"Err . . . no!" insisted the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (presumably),
is a man who had been taking the parking lot fees,
estimated at £400 (about $560) per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million
($7 million - or $280,000 every year for 25 years)!

And no one even knows his name.
Received on Wed Jun 9 07:18:11 2010