Dogs and Computers

"Head Stone"*

*When her late husband's will was read, a widow
learned he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman.

Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse's tombstone.

"Sorry, lady," said the stonecutter. "I inscribed
'Rest in Peace' on your order. I can't change it now."

"Very well," she said grimly. "Just add, 'Until We Meet Again'."

****************************************************************

"Dogs and Computers: Same or Different?"*

*Favorite Food
Dogs: kibbles
Computers: bits

Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: hit control-alt-delete

After destruction of personal property
D: dog not found
C: file not found

Favorite trick
D: roll over
C: play dead

Comic-page hero
D: Dogbert
C: Dilbert

Fun way to mess with their heads
D: peanut butter on roof of mouth
C: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive

Consequence of virus
D: replace valuable carpeting
C: replace valuable data

Widely ignored government mandate
D: leash law
C: Communications Decency Act

Waste disposal tool
D: pooper-scooper
C: uninstaller

Sensitive internal procedures
D: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional
C: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed "one kind-of like
this" once

Method of marking territory
D: lifting leg
C: "Designed for Windows Millennium"

Unique behavior
D: lick and drag
C: click-and-drag

Inexplicable physical feature
D: dewclaw
C: scroll lock key

Estimated lifespan
D: 12 years
C: 12 months

At end of useful life
D: euthanasia
C: tax deduction
Received on Sun Jun 6 09:14:31 2010