Kitty's Heaven

"Going to Heaven"*

*Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says
to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to
got to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said,
"Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me
that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were
getting a group together to go right now."

********************************************************

"Kitty's Heaven"*

*St Peter is receptionist at the entrance of Heaven. A cat
shows up and St Peter says, "I know you! You were a
very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so
I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you
have always wanted."

Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow
like my master had, so I could lie on it."

St Peter: "That's easy. Granted. You shall have the satin
pillow after you enter in."

Next, a group of mice appeared and St Peter greeted
them and said: "Ah, I remember you. You were such
good mice on earth. You didn't steal food from anyone's
house and never hurt other animals. Therefore, I want
to grant you one special wish you have always wanted."

The Chief Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the
children playing and saw them roller skate, and it was
beautiful, and it looked like so much fun. So can we
each have some roller skates, please?"

St Peter: "Granted. You shall have your wish."

Next day, St Peter is making the rounds inside the Gates,
and sees the cat. "Well, Cat...Did you enjoy the satin pillow?"

Cat: "Oh, indeed I did. And say...that 'Meals on Wheels'
thing was a nice touch, too!"
Received on Sat Jun 5 01:18:47 2010