TV in Prison

"TV in Prison"*

*A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story
about prison life and was interviewing one of the
prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"

"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At
night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."

"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think
it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."

"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "
That's part of the punishment!"

*****************************************************

"Only a Southerner"*

*Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
'yonder'.

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to
town, be back directly.'

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and
"a right far piece."

They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y'all need a sign to
hang on y'alls front porch that reads, "I ain't from the South, but I
got here as fast as I could."
Received on Tue Jan 12 11:29:56 2010