Baptist Cowboy

"Baptist Cowboy"*

*A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three
mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking
a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes
them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would
taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in
Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd
drink this way to remember the days we drank together.
So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two mugs. All the
regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round,
the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your
grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then
a light dawns and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's that
my wife and I just joined the Baptist Church in Sweetwater
and I had to quit drinking ........ Hasn't affected my brothers though."

***********************************************************

"Smarts"*

*Two guys were digging a ditch on a very hot day.
One said to the other, "Why are we down in this
hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up
there in the shade of a tree??"

"I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss.
"Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?"

"Smarts," the boss said.

What do you mean, 'smarts'?" asked the guy.

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand
on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can."

The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand.

The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree.

The boss said, "That's smarts!"

The guy went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?"

"He said we are down here because of smarts."

"What's smarts?" said the other guy. The recently
enlightened guy put his hand on his face and said,
'Take your shovel and hit my hand."
Received on Sun Feb 28 11:19:20 2010