Condition

"Suspicion"*

*Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their
husbands.... When Adam stayed out very late for
a few nights, Eve became upset.

"You're running around with other women," she told her mate.

"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam
responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to
be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was
his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

***************************************************

"Condition"*

*One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to G~d,
"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful
animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm
just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall
create a man for you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"
 
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive
tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to
empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give
you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and
more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting
and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed
ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with
a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
Received on Sun Feb 21 19:41:23 2010