Old Clunker

"Old Clunker"*

*His beloved old white convertible was in deplorable shape,
but he refused to get rid of it. So when the old junker was
stolen from his office parking lot, his family was delighted.
Nonetheless, they called the police and filed an insurance claim.

Their relief was short-lived, within an hour an officer was
on the phone. "We found the car less than a mile away,"
he said, trying to restrain himself. "It had a note on it
that read, 'Thanks anyway, we'd rather walk.'"

******************************************************

"Speeding Stop"*

*A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
exchange.

Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"

Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DWI."

Officer: "May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?"

Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."

Officer: "The car is stolen?"

Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw
the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there."

Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?"

Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and
killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk."

Officer: "There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?"

Driver: "Yes, sir."

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

Captain: "Sir, can I see your license?"

Driver: "Sure. Here it is."

It was valid.

Captain: "Who's car is this?"

Driver: "It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card."

The driver owned the car.

Captain: "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see
if there's a gun in it?"

Driver: "Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it."

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you
said there's a body in it."

Driver: "No problem."

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: "I don't understand it. The officer who stopped
you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the
car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead
body in the trunk."

Driver: "Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too."
Received on Sun Feb 21 19:35:07 2010