Slackers Rules

"Slackers Rules"*

*I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would
have been done already.

I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion
to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to
receive from missing them.

I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility
for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and
a reprieve from my obligations.

I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable,
regardless of the amount of time given.

I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle,
though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course
I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first
step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands
that the greater the task to be done, the more
insignificant the work that must be done prior to
beginning the greater task.

I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish,
but is wait/plan/plan.

I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

I will become a member of the ancient Order of
Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society)
if they ever get it organized.
Received on Mon Feb 1 11:43:21 2010