Attentive Audience

"Attentive Audience"*

*One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he
entered, he saw that he and the preacher were
the only ones present. The preacher asked the
cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went
to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."

So the minister began his sermon.

One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half
 hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to
ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon.

The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart,
but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed
up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

********************************************************

"Speeding Farmer"*

*After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper
started to lecture him about his speed, pompously
implying that the farmer didn't know any better and
trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible.

He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep
swatting at some flies buzzing around his head. The
farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"

The trooper paused to take another swat and said,
"Well, yes, if that's what they are. I've never heard of circle flies."

The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle
flies are common on farms. They're called circle flies
because you almost always find them circling the
back end of a horse."

The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says,
"Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?"

"Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much
respect for law enforcement and police officers for that."

"That's a good thing," the officer says rudely, then
goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer added, "Hard to fool them flies, though."
Received on Mon Dec 13 08:53:45 2010