CHiPS Ahoy

"Flunk Driving"*

*A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away.
A mile down the road, he's stopped by a police officer.

The officer walked up to the driver's side window holding
a Breathalyzer and said,

"Good evening sir. We're testing for drunk driving. Would
you please blow into this machine?"

The man replied, "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma.
If I blow in that machine, I will get out of air and faint."

"In that case, I'm going to have to ask you to come back
to the station for a blood test."

The man said, "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you
stick a needle in me I will bleed to death."

The officer said, "Then you'll have to get out and walk
5 yards along this white line."

"Can't do that either," said the man.

The officer was getting irritated. "And why not?"

"Because I'm dead drunk."

********************************************************

"CHiPS Ahoy"*

*It was 2 am and a California Highway Patrol officer was
sitting behind a billboard, eating a donut and watching
his radar gun. Suddenly WHOOOOOM!!!! A car speeds
past him topping out at 104 miles per hour. The cops
jumps in his car and chases after the reckless driver.

He sees the speeding car weaving all over the road, and
when the cop put on his siren, the driver panicked and
drove into the oncoming traffic lane. He zoomed past
cars and trucks, all frantically skidding and honking their horns.

Somehow the cop was able to keep pace with the guy,
and the driver did a 180 and drove in the opposite direction.
The cop did a U-Turn and followed the car, and watched
the guy break through a guard rail, over a cliff and land
safely on the road below, only to have the car engine start
smoking and die.

The cop scrambled down the cliff to find the driver
staggering out of his car, obviously drunk.

“Are you drunk or something?” he screamed at the driver.

”Of course,” replied the guy, “You think I'd ride this scary
roller-coaster sober?”
Received on Wed Dec 1 08:27:37 2010