The Moon or Not

"The Sun"*

*While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate
agent which direction was north because he did not
want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

My brother patiently explained that the sun rises in the
east and has for sometime.

She shook her head and said, "Oh, I do not keep up with all that stuff.

************************************************************

"The Moon or Not"*

*NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation
to her friends and family when she set a new standard
for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV
show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck
on the first question and proceeded to make what fans
of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of
lifelines ever." After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100
question.

The question was: "Which of the following is the largest?"

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming
panic as she did not readily know the answer. "Hmm, oh
boy, that is a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level
best to hide her disbelief. "I mean, I am sure I have heard
of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines,
the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to
decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon.
However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained
unsure.

"Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed
Evans... "Darn. I think I better phone a friend." Mrs. Evans
asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I am on TV!" said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an
important question. Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun."

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

"Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Duh, that cannot
be it."

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined
to take her friend's advice. "I just do not know if I can trust
Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I would like to ask
the audience," said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned
98% in favor of answer C, "The Moon." Having used up all her
lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life..

"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I am thinking,"
said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes
you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. I am going to
have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one
waiting with bated breath - and was told that she was
wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, "The Moon."
Received on Tue Aug 3 02:26:18 2010