Ear Muffs

"Ear Muffs"*

*Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner
of the estate felt he was doing a good deed
when he bought earmuffs for his foreman.

Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn't
wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest day,
 the landlord asked, "Didn't you like the muffs?"

The Foreman said, "They're a thing of beauty."

"Why don't you wear them?"

The Foreman explained, "I was wearing them the
first day, and somebody offered to buy me a drink,
 but I didn't hear him! Never again, never again!"

************************************************

"Bubba & a Shrink"*

*Bubba went to a psychiatrist.

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's
somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the
shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week, and we
should be able to get rid of those fears.'

'How much do you charge?'

'Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.'

'I'll sleep on it,' said Bubba.

Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street.

'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those
fears you were having?' asked the psychiatrist.

'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a
year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me
for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money
that I went and bought me a new pickup!'

'Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now!!!'
Received on Sat May 2 06:57:59 2009