Miracle

"Miracle"*

*One morning a man came into the church on
crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water,
splashed some on each leg, and then threw away
his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and
then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he had just seen.

"Son, you have just witnessed a miracle," the priest
said. "Tell me where this man is now?"

"Flat on his rear over by the holy water," said the boy.

*************************************************

"Father O'Mally and Elvis"*

*Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in
Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a
vacation. He has never been married and he is curious
as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he
decides to go to the States before it is too late.

He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in
the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane,
someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims,
"Elvis! Oh my G~d! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead
Elvis! How have you been?"

Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face.
Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis."

The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He
hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the
cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it."

The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my
G~d! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your
number one fan! It's so great to see you!"

"Shut up, you imbecile." says the father "I'm not
Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby
speeds up to the hotel.

Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the
hotel check-in counter. "Oh my G~od! Oh my G~d! It's
you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I
knew this day would happen. We saved everything just
the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter
and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, complementary
hookers and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!"

Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says,
"Thank you... Thank you very much!"
Received on Tue Mar 17 07:07:04 2009