Statistics R Us

"Statistics R Us"*

*Two men walk into a bar. One sits at one end
of the bar and the other at the opposite end.
The bartender asks the first man what he wants.

I'll have a Frizzle...that's a beer with a splash of
tonic, a splash of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, no lime."

Then the man at the other end of the bar orders.
"Make mine a Frizzle.It's a beer with just a bit of
tonic, a bit of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, but no lime."

The astonished bartender makes the drinks. Then
he asks the first man what he does for a living.

"I am a theoretical mathematician at the university."

Then he asks the other man what he does.

"Theoretical mathematician at the college."

"This is remarkable," says the bartender. "You both
order a drink that I've never heard of. You have the
identical profession and you both walk into my bar
on the same day at the same time. What are the
odds on something like that happening?"

Both men look up and answer in unison, "Twelve
trillion, nine hundred, and eighty-seven billion to one."

**************************************************

"Proper Initials"*

*When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in
the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant
in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit.

One day a long memo came around with a cover
sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and
initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it
meant me too, so I read and initialed it.

BUT a few days later, it came back addressed
specifically to me. An attached note read: "You are
not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus
not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials
and initial your erasure."
Received on Mon Jun 1 08:21:42 2009