Cats And Teenagers

"Cats And Teenagers"*

*For all of you with teenagers or who have had
teenagers, you may want to know why they
really have a lot in common with cats:

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads
when you call them by name.

2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough.
Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to
compensate for the privilege of waiting on them
hand and foot.

3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house
with an adult human being, and it can be safely said
that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be
seen in public with his or her parents.

4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither
your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.

6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa
for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.

7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,
communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense
of complete and utter boredom.

9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.

10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have
been known to return in the middle of the night to
deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are
not above that sort of behavior.

Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of
advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also
a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times.

And remember, above all else, put out the food and do
not make any sudden moves in their direction. When
they make up their minds, they will finally come to you
for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant
moment for all concerned.
Received on Mon Feb 23 06:56:17 2009