Pork Breakthrough

"Pork Breakthrough"

Pig farmers have never done well in the United States.
Most Americans prefer beef to pork. Hamburger is an
American favorite but contains no ham.

The porcine raisers were hopeful to see a significant
increase in their business after the scares about
health over beef, but most of the benefits had gone
to the poultry and fish industries; sale of ham and
bacon remained virtually unchanged.

Because of this, The National Porcine Association hired
a major Madison Avenue advertising firm to boost sale
of pork products. They decided on an intensive
campaign to saturate magazines, television, and radio
with ads urging people to eat pork patties.

The campaign was given an extra boost when Congress
was convinced to designate the second of February as
the day when every family would be urged to eat pork sausage.

That day would be celebrated nationally, of course, as Ground Hog Day.

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"Phone Call"

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club,
showering, getting changed for the 19th hole.
When a cell phone on a bench rings, a man picks
it up, engages the hands-free speaker function,
and begins a conversation.

(M=man, W=wife)

M: "Hello?"

W: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

M: "Yes."

W: "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where
you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's
absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

M: "What's the price?"

W: "Only $1,000."

M: "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

W: "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes
dealership and saw the 2010 models. I saw one
I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he
gave me a really good price...and since we need
to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

M: "What price did he quote you?"

W: "Only $60,000."

M: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

W: "Great! But before we hang up, something else....."

M: "What?"

W: " I stopped by the real estate agent this morning
and saw the house we looked at last year. It's for sale!!
Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre
of park area, beach-front property."

M: "How much are they asking?"

W: "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price. It may seem
like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account...and
I see that we have enough in the bank to cover the down payment."

M: "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"

W: "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

M: "Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up and closes the phone's flap.

The other men are looking at him in astonishment
and derision. The man holds up the phone and
asks, "Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?"
Received on Mon Feb 2 09:22:02 2009