Flying Blind

"Flying Blind"*

*An airplane filled to capacity is sitting on the tarmac
awaiting take-off, when the pilot and co-pilot come
aboard. The pilot is wearing sunglasses, and hitting
the sides of the aisle with a white cane. The co-pilot
is following behind him being led by a seeing-eye dog.

As both pilots continue toward the cockpit, the passengers
start to murmur amongst themselves..."Are they kidding..?,
what's going on..?"
 
When the plane's engines start, the passengers get
louder. As the plane begins to pick up speed down
the runway the passengers are really getting loud.

Finally when the plane is at full throttle with only 20 feet
of runway left, the passengers begin screaming at the
top of their lungs. The plane suddenly pulls up and is airborne.

The pilot says to the co-pilot, "You know, one of these
days they're not going to scream in time, and we're all gonna die!"

**********************************************************

"Non-Talking Parrot"*

*A man came into a pet shop carrying a parrot in
a bird cage. "I want to return this bird," he said.
The owner sighed at the prospect of facing yet
another this-bird-won't-talk complaint.

"Sir," he said, "we guarantee that all our parrots
can talk. However, we can't guarantee when they
will talk. It's all spelled out on your sales receipt."

"No, no, you don't understand," the customer said.
"The bird talks. I just don't like his attitude."

Puzzled, the store owner said, "You're right. I
don't understand. Explain it to me."

"I bought the bird a week ago," the customer said.
"Every morning, I'd stand in front of his cage and
ask 'Can you talk?' I did the same thing every
evening. For six days, I got no response. Then,
this morning, I shouted at the bird, 'CAN YOU TALK,
YOU STUPID CREATURE? CAN YOU TALK?'"

The customer glared at the parrot.

The owner asked, "So, what happened?"

"That bird looked at me," the customer said, "and
said, 'I can talk, all right. Can you fly?'"
Received on Wed Dec 2 12:11:33 2009