Office Terms

"Office Terms"*

*BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything
and then leaves.

ADMINISPHERE:
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

FLIGHT RISK:
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the
company or department soon.

OHNO-SECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time in which realize that you've just made a
BIG mistake.
Like making the selection that reformats your hard drive.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

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"New Definitions"*

*Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the
other.
 
Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.
 
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either"
 
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power...
 
Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.
 
Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees
later on.
 
Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.
 
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
 
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Received on Mon Oct 27 00:55:58 2008