On Women

"Buying a Rifle"

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy
a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk.

"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.

"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know
that I'm going to shoot him!"

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"Woman's Intelligence"

A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts
are, the less intelligent she is.

I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite.

I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less
intelligent men become.

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"On Women"

Youthful Figure: What you get when you ask a woman her age.

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.

The only time a woman wishes she were a year
older is when she is expecting a baby.

Women's main two complaints: Nothing to wear,
and not enough closet space for it.

It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her.

Why do women go to tanning salons?
What a waste of time and money.
Guys only like the white parts anyway.

What do you call a woman who can wash up,
do the ironing, make the beds, feed the kids,
hang out the laundry, cook dinner and take the
dog for a walk all at the same time?
. . . A Swiss Army Wife
Received on Sun Jan 20 08:11:16 2008